National Adoption Month

Updated: Nov 5, 2021

Did you know that November is National Adoption Month?! Did you know that only 2% of Americans in the United States have adopted? What staggering statistics! I hope that hearing this information may encourage you to consider adoption if you haven't already.

As a mother who has adopted, hearing these numbers breaks my heart. Breaks my heart because I know that there are nearly 428,000 children in the foster system on any given day and nearly 43,000 children just waiting to be adopted.

Being an adopted mom has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I can't imagine my life without my precious daughter. She has brought laughter we would have never heard. She has brought humor, love, and joy that we never even knew that we needed. I went into adoption thinking that I was going to help a soul in need, not realizing that I was the one who needed help the most.

Although there are so many blessings, I also must admit that it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Hearing these numbers (only 2% have adopted) help me to realize why I feel so alone at times, with little support. It is very difficult for me to connect with other moms when it comes to my adopted child because it seems like nobody quite understands what I go through.

You probably would love to support the few families that you know who have adopted, yet might not know how. What a wonderful chance to bring this subject up and encourage you to reach out with some tips that I believe will be helpful!

  1. Be a trustful listening ear. Although having adopted children brings many blessings, it also brings many struggles that we never fully grasped would occur. Most times we feel like we can't talk to anyone about it because we feel that others won't understand. One thing I hear a lot is, "It will be okay, every child at this age struggles with this." We know that you have really good intentions in saying this and it is true, every human at one point has lied or been disrespectful...but what we are going through with them is not what a typical child goes through. Sadly, the amount of trauma most of our adopted children have gone through is more than several adults in their whole lifetime combined. We know it is hard to know what to say, but often times just knowing someone is there to listen helps us more than anything else.

  2. Send a note of encouragement. Many who have adopted can start to feel discouraged on a regular basis. They need to know that you see them and that they have your support. There are several instances where adopted children are so hurt, that they push away any sort of love and acceptance from their adopted families. When the parent's love is rejected on a day to day basis, it is easy for the parent to become very discouraged, even feeling hopeless at times. An encouraging note can make a world of difference!

  3. Trust that you might not have all the information. Please listen to me as I say this. What you see going on in that family is usually only a tiny glimpse of reality and honestly, usually only what the adopted child wants you to see. Many adopted children are so hurt that they long for the world to see them and know them through their pain. They may do and say things in front of others that might be half truth or have no truth at all in order to try to gain sympathy. If you are concerned or alarmed by anything that you hear and see, let the child know that you care so much about them and what they are going through, but then also take the time to check in with the parents as well. You may be surprised to find that there was a lot you were missing.

  4. Offer to bring them dinner. Who doesn't like help with dinners?! Like I have said previously, there are wonderful times but also many struggles and sometimes these struggles can wear on the whole family. If you see that the mom (or dad) seem extra discouraged, offer to do something to take a load off of their plate (or in this case, put one on their plate 🤪). This could really brighten their week and show them that people truly see and care.

  5. Listen to their adoption story and remind them of it often. It is easy for these moms to lose hope and forget why they wanted to do this in the first place when difficult times arise. With many struggles and feeling isolated, many mothers begin to question themselves and if they are really equipped to be the best for this child. Most families have miraculous stories of how they were able to adopt these kids. Allowing them to share this with you, will in and of itself bring back that fire and passion for them to be able to continue strong.

I hope that these tips will give you a roadmap on where to start when it comes to supporting and loving the families around you who have adopted. I also hope that hearing about all of those children waiting to be adopted (and this is only in the U.S. foster system alone) might possibly be the confirmation that you were waiting for as you have been considering adoption yourself.

Thank you for joining us as we celebrate this month. Thank you for your love and support. Please know that we couldn't do it without you!!

*considering foster care/adoption?

Beth Campbell, founder of Payson Moms Blog

Beth Campbell is a local mom of 4 beautiful children. She has been married to her best friend and college sweetheart, Brian, for 13 years. She loves living in Payson and connecting with other moms. She has a desire to see activities for moms and children grow in the Payson area, along with support for local businesses. She also desires to create an online atmosphere of support and encouragement for moms of all ages and stages of life through the Payson Moms Blog.

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